Perhaps the Super Return conference, currently ongoing in Dubai, should search for a more appropriate name?

In a poll at the beginning of the conference, 56 percent of participants said the markets had not yet reached a bottom, but thought it was close. 

Asked what private equity returns would be this year, 27 percent said “zero” and another 27 percent said “between 5 percent and 10 percent.” With the target typically 20 percent, that’s far from the superior returns investors demand from private equity firms.

Middle East investors are being hurt by the global crisis but are hungry for deal opportunites. Views from big U.S. names such as Henry Kravis and David Rubenstein are keenly anticipated in the coming days. Providence’s Jonathan Nelson, originally set to speak on Monday, cancelled. 
    

It’s nickel and dime time for banks as they come under pressure to cut costs in order to survive the worst financial crisis in 80 years.

According to banking sources, a U.S. bank in Canary Wharf has banned colour printing and has asked employees in the back office to chip in 25 pounds each for the office Christmas party.

A bank in Mayfair has told its employees to only hail cabs on the street instead of booking on the phone. Another bank in the City has pushed back the time employees can take taxis home to 9.30pm from 8.30pm previously.

A senior banker from the collapsed bank Lehman Brothers, soon to be transferred to Japanese bank Nomura, ordered a glass of tap water at a meeting in a restaurant.

Know any more belt-tightening measures being implemented? Contributions welcome.

With Treasury markets shut for Columbus Day, flight to the relative safety of T-bills will be muted, potentially limiting the downside in the stock market. So the timing may be perfect for a deal to sell a chunk of Morgan Stanley to Mitsubishi UFJ Financial Group. Morgan Stanley’s stock was up by a quarter before the market opened, after slipping so low last week that the 20 percent stake that the Japanese bank planned to buy for $9 billion was worth more than all of Morgan Stanley.
 
The New York Times suggested the U.S. government would back the deal if need be. Though details of the transaction released this morning made no mention of any government support, it doesn’t seem such a stretch, given that governments around the world spent the weekend figuring out how to shore up global banks.
 
The UK pumped 37 billion pounds ($64 billion) into Royal Bank of Scotland, and bailouts await HBOS and Lloyds TSB when they complete a renegotiated merger. Barclays hopes to raise 7 billion pounds ($12.10 billion) in extra capital from private investors rather than government funds.
 
The cables attached to the UK bailout are stronger than anything the US Treasury seems likely to insist on. Banks in Britain are resisting aid, fearing government ownership and government management. Since such socialist remedies would be a bitter pill in the U.S. no matter how sick the banking sector gets, US medicine for the financial sector is still likely to taste more like candy.

Deals of the day:

* Three major South Korean corporate groups, including a consortium of steelmaker POSCO and energy-construction group GS, have submitted final bids for the controlling stake in Daewoo Shipbuilding & Marine Engineering, the companies said.

* British back-office outsourcing firm Capita Group said it bought network services company ABS Network Solutions for 13.6 million pounds ($23.25 million).

* Australian insurance and banking group Suncorp-Metway is considering its options on a possible sale of its banking and wealth management unit, Suncorp said, amid a report that it had shelved sale plans.

* Australia’s CSL, the world’s top plasma products group, said the U.S. Federal Trade Commission had asked it for more information on its proposed $3.1 billion takeover of smaller U.S. rival Talecris Biotherapeutics.